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Kal Penn Quotes & Sayings
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31 entries tagged including 1 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Kal Penn Topics
QUOTES
Man I wish Morgan Freeman would do my outgoing voicemail.
Kal Penn
3 Likes
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Now that oral arguments in the gay marriage cases are over, it's time for the Supreme Court to move on to the anal & vaginal ones.
Kal Penn
4 Likes
You do one stoner movie trilogy & every time you need eye drops people look at you with amused suspicion...
Kal Penn
17 Likes
Just spent a good 10 stubborn minutes trying to remember the correct spelling of 'rhythm' in an email. That first H, man.
Kal Penn
0 Likes
It's so nice out I imagine this is when rich people go sailing and eat cheese and shit.
Kal Penn
3 Likes
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Since celebs name-dropping themselves has gotten played, all rants should now begin with, 'Do NOT make me pull a Reese Witherspoon.'
Kal Penn
3 Likes
I saw a fat Indian guy and it made me go to the gym.
Kal Penn
5 Likes
We should have a badass secret handshake.
Kal Penn
2 Likes
You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
Kal Penn
2 Likes
WTF Why is there no sheep emoji?
Kal Penn
11 Likes
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Waiting for the 'call me maybe' video from the rover on Mars.
Kal Penn
2 Likes
Lady crossing the street, not paying attention, almost got hit. Turns to husband & screams, 'Why didn't YOU watch where I was going?!'
Kal Penn
5 Likes
CNN annoyed me so I'm watching Dance Moms. Not the first time Tuesday night has ended up like this.
Kal Penn
1 Likes
In a cab. It's like a hundred degrees. Can't tell if that manly odor means I'm stinky or if it's the cabbie.
Kal Penn
1 Likes
There's a dude walking down the street with a box strapped to all sides of his head. That's for protection against the aliens, right?
Kal Penn
5 Likes
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Since Romney supports my right to buy guns with unlimited clips, will he let me buy nuclear weapons too? I need em 2 hunt bin laden. Oh wait...
Kal Penn
2 Likes
So many rad Harold and Kumar fans confused why the chair was empty. 'Dude. Wait. Is Obama actually in the chair? I TOTALLY don't see him.'
Kal Penn
1 Likes
Overheard. 'Ooh thass that guy from Herald and Gerald go to sumthin sumthin.'
Kal Penn
0 Likes
What in the world is in that bag whatchoo got in that. BAG?
Kal Penn
0 Likes
Texting a friend I hadn't seen in a while & autocorrect changed 'Great to see you. Was nice' to 'Great to see you. Was nude'
Kal Penn
2 Likes
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