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Les Dawson Quotes & Sayings

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10 entries tagged including 9 subtopics.
Last updated Jan 2021

Les Dawson Topics

Funny
Women
Jokes
Sex
Marriage
Love
Mother In Law
Men

QUOTES

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

47 Likes

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

5 Likes

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

311 Likes

Mother In Law quotes

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

1182 Likes

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

197 Likes

Marriage quotes

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

87 Likes

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.

81 Likes

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.

59 Likes

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.

182 Likes

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

42 Likes

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