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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes & Sayings
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81 entries tagged including 37 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Rodney Dangerfield Topics
Funny
Fathers
Sports
Arguments
Cheating
Soul
Drinking
Food
Ugliness
Humor
Money
Boyfriend
Halloween
School
Dating
Hilarious
Psychiatry
Wives
Dysfunctional Family
Sex
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God
Ugly
Life
Women
Parents
Jokes
Marriage
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Age
Truth
Kids
Drink
Actors And Acting
Emotion
Love
Weight
QUOTES
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
5 Likes
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
3 Likes
My wife wants s.. in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield
9 Likes
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a s..y negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Dysfunctional Family quotes
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Ugly quotes
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
8 Likes
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Rodney Dangerfield
0 Likes
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
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