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Fake Bible Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Fake Bible" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
And it came to pass, as they sat at the table, that the word of the LORD came unto the prophet that brought him back: And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the LORD, Forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the LORD, and hast not kept the commandment which the LORD thy God commanded thee, But camest back, and hast eaten bread and drunk water in the place, of the which the Lord did say to thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water; thy carcase shall not come unto the sepulchre of thy fathers.
Bible
7 Likes
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Behind every smile there is a frown. Behind every frown there is a story. Within that story there was a moment of sadness, but with support from one simple person. We can change their fake smile into a true smile. Helping one another is what keeps others happy and reminds them to still have hope. Life has it's ups and downs. We cannot change the bad things that have happened to someone, but we can change the sadness they have within because of their past. Lend a helping hand because no one should have to face the world alone. With the people in the world coming to join as one. We can make a change. All you need to do is have faith, and give support to one another. Everyone in this world is family. For we are the sons and daughters of GOD. We should start treating one another as brothers and sisters. For if we do we can improve the love in the world.
Emma Swenson
179 Likes
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You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "Uh huh." Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fu..ing Bible at some point. "And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus...with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fu..ing lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.
Bill Hicks
13 Likes
Comedy quotes
Hast thou not procured this unto thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, when he led thee by the way? / And now what hast thou to do in the way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river? / Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts.
Bible
4 Likes
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SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are endowed by their Creator with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a soul-spirited knave, and his ever victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent. Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung In the dead language of a mummy's tongue, For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well -- Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell. Had it been such as consecrates the Bible Thou hadst not perished by the law of libel. --Barney Stims.
Ambrose Bierce
5 Likes
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Yes, life is hard. As you grow older, you'll learn what true heart-wrenching pain feels like. You'll realize that majority of the people you once believed in will let you down. You'll fall in & out of things that you think are love, & it'll hurt. There'll be people out there that want to see you fall down, it might happen. But you'll get up, fake a smile, & move on. You'll go from being called a brat to a bi.... You'll be pressured to do bad things. You'll keep secrets. You will regret, but forget. You'll be heartbroken, and break some hearts. You'll fight with your best friend, & either keep or lose that friendship. Things will get unbearable, & you will spend a lot of time crying. You'll miss the spirit of your innocence. You will survive though, I promise. You'll fight on & you will live to see another day. You will find true love where you least expect it, you will be adored by many. Life will move on& you'll realize that all the pain & confusion brought you closer to happiness.
Julia Kistner
123 Likes
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When I was younger, I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms. Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose. Slept with all the stuffed animals as a child so none of them got offended. Had that one pen with 4 colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once. Poured soda into the cap and acting like I were taking shots. The hardest decision was choosing which Ni ntendo game to play. Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out or you had to pee. Faked being asleep, so I could be carried to bed. Used to think that the moon followed my car. Watching two drops of rain roll down window and pretending it was a race. Went on the computer just to use Paint. The only 'fake' friends I had were invisible ones. I used to sing in the shower. Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy. Getting a bruised knees heals better than a broken heart. Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up... what the hell were we thinking?
Mahmoud El Hallab
303 Likes
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