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Funny Fashion Show Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Fashion Show Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid nor sincere, that's why I am 'SINGLE'.
Abhishek Tiwari
490 Likes
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1)It is obvious, for survival and problem solving purposes, we live in two worlds, the mind and the environment. The environment is all that exists outside the mind, including my foot or my body. The body is considered part of the environment because discovery takes place there, you discover a mole, not think it up. 2)All discovery and surprise takes place in the environment (as research scientists, battlefield commanders, examining doctors, and auditors, etc, already know ). The environment defies logic because it evolves and so one must go to it to investigate, research, and experiment....not sit in a chair and just meditate.. 3)God (or evolution if you please) alone creates all the existing entities, players, animals, insects, fish, and planets, etc, that exist ( humans don't create these players/entities ). Humans came on the scene surrounded by these players. Defenseless, we could only observe and notice what they did or could do and when they did it, etc. We observed relationships and remembered. Even the stars above appeared to have useful patterns/relationships. 4)Humans have always negotiated their way in the world by capturing perceived relationships among and between the players and entities by using observation and thought. Humans ascended by climbing the ladder of relationships and then exploited these relationships. Einsteins perceived relationship between energy, mass, and the speed of light lead to exploitable atomic weapons. 5)Relationships are the sum and summary of all intellectual activity. The mind feeds upon and grows with its knowledge of relationships. New relationships are the product of creative thought, usually aided with observation. Problems are solved by and with the sudden apprehension of a new and viable relationship. 6)A solution, to be a solution, must share some of the characteristics of the problem. It is the pursuit of a shared characteristic that can identify a sought after relationship leading to a useful solution. A good problem solving method then is to describe a problem in written painful detail and then follow each characteristic always on alert for possible relationships. Isaac Newton may have invented the reflecting telescope in this fashion by meditating on the under performing refractor telescope. 7)Reactions are a special form of relationship and are quite useful to record and collect because of their automatic character. As the Chinese saying goes...
Richard L Kempe
10 Likes
World View quotes
I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fu.. would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fu..in' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bi...: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!
Mitch Hedberg
16 Likes
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When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think, "Is she trying to lose weight or something?" ..but when a SKINNY girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Wow, she eats and eats and never gains a pound." and when a SKINNY girl eats a salad, people think, "Why is she eating a salad? She doesn't need to lose weight." Like if you think this is true.
Unknown
447 Likes
Funny quotes
I'm Only Human: I've been in love, and I've been heartbroken. I have felt so amazingly happy, I felt like dancing, and so extremely sad, I felt as if I couldn't live another day. I'm only human. I have been stressed. I have been depressed. I have been all alone. I have been joyful. I have been blessed, and I have been grateful. I've gone through the trials, the pain, and suffering of life. I have had ups and downs in my relationships. I've been called ugly, and beautiful. I'm only human. There have been those days When Ive felt my heart couldnt take the pain any more, and all I wanted to do was wake up from this horrible dream I felt I was living in. There have also been days, when my heart overflowed with so much love, it truly took away my breath. Im only human. Ive been used, abused, and taken for granted. My life is anything but picture perfect. Im not the smartest. Im not the prettiest. I have been hurt by the ones Ive loved, and rejected by the people I called my friends. I have felt cherished, special, 1 in a million. I am only human. Ive taken what life has thrown my way, and made it through. Only by the grace of God, have I made it without being defeated. Sometimes, behind the smiling face of those dear to you, is a broken, hurting, wounded, abandoned, and lonely person. Take the time to ask, show you care. Maybe one day, when you are feeling as if you cant take another step, someone will look you straight in the eyes, see right through to your soul, and say: No. Your not okay. How can I be there for you? After all¦We are only Human.
A Rachel Original:)
203 Likes
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YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me blest To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak Of middle life and look adown the bleak And unfamiliar foreslope to the West, Where solemn shadows all the land invest And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest. Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame To stay the shadow on the dial's face At manhood's noonmark! Now, in God His name I chide aloud the little interspace Disparting me from Certitude, and fain Would know the dream and vision ne'er again. --Baruch Arnegriff It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was attended at different times by seven doctors.
Ambrose Bierce
19 Likes
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I cannot write music. I cannot play the piano. Jayne Meadows I just loved and love life. I love it today. Jayne Meadows I never look at a note. I just roam the stage. The people do not want to leave. Jayne Meadows I never say a funny thing intentionally. Jayne Meadows I respect his talents, even as he does mine. Jayne Meadows I was born and raised in China, and my parents were missionaries. Jayne Meadows I would write plays for my grandmother, who was stone deaf, my mother and the dog, that was our audience. Jayne Meadows Marriage, even the best marriages are tough. Jayne Meadows My father was a good preacher and had a little bit of drama. Jayne Meadows My mother was the dearest, sweetest angel. She didn't talk; she sang. She was a tower of strength. Jayne Meadows Steve is very quiet, even shy. I am very gregarious. So, opposites. Jayne Meadows The best people I know have had a lot of obstacles to overcome. Jayne Meadows There is only one secret. To love what you are doing.
Jayne Meadows
5 Likes
HEART, n. An automatic, muscular blood-pump. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the esat of emotions and sentiments --a very pretty fancy which, however, is nothing but a survival of a once universal belief. It is now known that the sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid. The exact process by which a beefsteak becomes a feeling --tender or not, according to the age of the animal from which it was cut; the successive stages of elaboration through which a caviar sandwich is transmuted to a quaint fancy and reappears as a pungent epigram; the marvelous functional methods of converting a hard-boiled egg into religious contrition, or a cream-puff into a sigh of sensibility --these things have been patiently ascertained by M. Pasteur, and by him expounded with convincing lucidity. (See, also, my monograph, _The Essential Identity of the Spiritual Affections and Certain Intestinal Gases Freed in Digestion_ --4t
Ambrose Bierce
14 Likes
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Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity..
Unknown
10 Likes
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1)It is obvious, for survival and problem solving purposes, we live in two worlds, the mind and the environment. The environment is all that exists outside the mind, including my foot or my body. Here, the body is considered part of the environment because discovery and surprise take place on the body, you discover a mole on your leg, not think it up. 2)All discovery and surprise takes place in the environment (as research scientists, battlefield commanders, examining doctors, and auditors, etc, already know ). The environment however, defies logic, because it evolves and so one must go to it to investigate, research, and experiment....not sit in a chair and just meditate. Groups of people know more about the environment than any one person, and this makes frequent human interactions profitable/educational. 3)God (or evolution if you please) alone creates all the existing entities, players, animals, insects, fish, and planets, etc, that exist ( humans don't create these players/entities ). Humans came on the scene surrounded by these players. Defenseless, we could only observe and remember what animals did or could do and when they did it, etc. We observed relationships and remembered. We saw the distant stars above and connected them with very useful patterns/relationships. 4)Humans have always negotiated their way in the world by capturing perceived relationships among and between the players and entities by using observation and thought. Humans ascended by climbing the ladder of relationships by seeking and exploiting these relationships. Einsteins perceived relationship between energy, mass, and the speed of light lead to exploitable atomic weapons. Our senses pick up things and our mind perceives the accompanying relationships. 5)Relationships are the sum and summary of all intellectual activity. The mind feeds upon and grows with its knowledge of relationships. New relationships are the product of creative thought, usually aided with observation. Problems are solved by and with the sudden apprehension of a new and viable relationship. Producing useful relationships is what the intellect does, what it's role is. If the mind has a product, it has to be relationships. 6)A solution, to be a solution, must share some of the characteristics of the problem. It is the belief in, and the pursuit of a shared characteristic that can identify a sought after relationship leading to a useful solution. A good problem solving method then is to describe a problem in written painful detail and then follow each characteristic always on alert for possible relationships. Isaac Newton may have invented the reflecting telescope in this fashion by meditating on the under performing refractor telescope. 7)Reactions are a special form of relationship and are quite useful to record and collect because of their automatic character. As the Chinese saying goes...
Richard Lee Kempe
14 Likes
World View Framework quotes
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