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Funny Hotel Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Hotel" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
You didn't want to be my friend in elementary school. You didn't want to be my friend in junior high school. And you certainly weren't my friend in high school. Why on Earth do you want to be my Facebook friend today?
William E Lewis Jr
179 Likes
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Face your problems don't Facebook your problems.
Unknown
1399 Likes
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People come into your life, and some of those people leave. People change. If they were real while they were in your life remember them that way. Life has a funny way of affecting people. Things happen. Make good memories and always keep moving forward. You're your own director in your own movie. Grant some people main rolls. Let some people play extras. But regardless of who you chose for the credits...Make sure you produce a movie that you're proud of.
Zach Taylor
84 Likes
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Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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a beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you been drinkin jack and coke all morning. she can make you feel high, for the single greatest comodity known to man - promise. promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope, promise of a new tomorrow. this particular aura, can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl, in her smile, in her soul, and the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like its gonna be ok
Unknown
187 Likes
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I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'
Bob Newhart
35 Likes
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman...or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
Unknown
57 Likes
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I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".'
Mitch Hedberg
13 Likes
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I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".'
Mitch Hedberg
6 Likes
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There's no one I admire more than Lee. To be Mexican-American at a time when our culture was really invisible, and to slay the best golfers in the world with a homemade, 'freehand' swing, which is such a Mexican thing, and for me to see that with the big eyes of a kid, as a lot of young kids connect success to Tiger, I connect my success to Lee. It turned out we both grew up knowing what it's like to be alone, we both learned how to mask some of that by being funny, and now to know him and love him, and have him love me more than anyone from my own upbringing, to have him call me 'My boy,' man, that's it.
George Lopez
9 Likes
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3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
Unknown
26 Likes
Funny quotes
Girls are the best vehicles in the world because: 2 beautiful headlights in front, 2 great bumbers at the back, self-lubricating when hot, finger touch ignition automatic engine oil change every month. any type of pistons fit, multiple seating styles & adjustments. great accessories, automatic and manuall drive from both sides. ready 4 test drive any time.. ;)
Unknown
388 Likes
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When we first talked to each other I knew we would always be friends. Our friendship has kept on growing and I'll be here for you to the end. You listen when I have a problem and help dry the tears from my face. You take away my sorrow and put happiness in its place. We can't forget the fun we've had. Laughing 'til our faces turn blue. Talking of things only we find funny. People think we're insane. If they only knew! I guess this is my way of saying thanks for catching me when I fall. Thanks once again for being such a good friend and being here with me through it all.
Unknown
605 Likes
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Crabbed age and youth cannot live together; Youth is full of pleasance, age full of care; Youth like the summer morn, age like winter weather; Youth like summer brave, age like winter bare.
William Shakespeare
18 Likes
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The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.
Unknown
14 Likes
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When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
Unknown
193 Likes
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Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special. Something like this. Lucas is gone, but that doesn't mean the season is over. As a matter of fact, I say it's just beginning. You might want to stay out of my way for a while. Life's funny sometimes; can push pretty hard like when you fall in love with someone but they forget to love you back, like when your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone, like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back. Like I said, in sports they call this 'stepping up'. In life, I call it 'pushing back.
Nathan Scott
45 Likes
I absolutely have no foresight. I used to think I had a lot when I was younger. I worked really hard in school to give myself options, and I've literally taken those options and thrown them down the toilet. Purposely - not to make that sound totally negative. It's what I want. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. It's funny, people ask me all the time: 'What do you do for fun? What do you do when you're not acting?' It's a strange thing, acting. It's a business, it's a job, everything like that. All it is, is self-reflection. You just never stop caring about people and I've never stopped doing that, so I'm sure it'll seep into other areas of my life. I want to write. I'm not going to school because I can't take the structure of it, but I'm not going to stop learning.
Kristen Stewart
41 Likes
When I was very young and the urge to be someplace was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. In other words, I don't improve, in further words, once a bum always a bum. I fear the disease is incurable.
John Steinbeck
43 Likes
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Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because listen to pop music?
John Cusack
9 Likes
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