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Funny Tired Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Tired Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
Being Fed Up
Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
Clever Facebook Status
Being Fed Up
Funny New Year
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A Friend Like You. A friend like you is like no other friend. A friend like you is a friend I don't regret meeting. A friend like you is like a friend I cant scream at or fight with. A friend like you is like having no worries in my life. A friend like you is a friend that I don't want to lose. A friend like you is like being in comfort all day. A friend like you is a friend I always wanted. A friend like you is awesomely, awesome. A friend like you is random and funny. A friend like you is a friend that I love to death and I will never let go. A friend like you is a friend I can tell all my secrets to. A friend like you... A friend like you is like the little sister I've always wanted. A friend that I can go to to tell them whats wrong. A friend like you is like having no dark days because you brighten them up. A friend like you is a friend that opens up my eyes and helps me avoid bad things. A friend like you is a type of friend that laughs at dumb things I say or do. A friend like you is a friend I am proud to call my best friend...
Cute Friend quotes
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From time to time, life as a leader can look hopeless. To help you, consider a man who lived through this: Failed in business at age 31. Defeated for the legislature at 32. Again failed in business at 34. Sweetheart died at 35. Had a nervous breakdown at 36. Defeated in election at 38. Defeated for Congress at 43. Defeated for Congress at 46. Defeated for Congress at 48. Defeated for Senate at 55. Defeated for Vice President at 56. Defeated for Senate at 58. Elected President at age 60. This man was Abraham Lincoln.
All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid nor sincere, that's why I am 'SINGLE'.
Being Single quotes
Single Relationship quotes
Falling In Love quotes
I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fu.. would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fu..in' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bi...: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think, "Is she trying to lose weight or something?" ..but when a SKINNY girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Wow, she eats and eats and never gains a pound." and when a SKINNY girl eats a salad, people think, "Why is she eating a salad? She doesn't need to lose weight." Like if you think this is true.
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age. But yesterday I should have thought me blest To stand high-pinnacled upon the peak Of middle life and look adown the bleak And unfamiliar foreslope to the West, Where solemn shadows all the land invest And stilly voices, half-remembered, speak Unfinished prophecy, and witch-fires freak The haunted twilight of the Dark of Rest. Yea, yesterday my soul was all aflame To stay the shadow on the dial's face At manhood's noonmark! Now, in God His name I chide aloud the little interspace Disparting me from Certitude, and fain Would know the dream and vision ne'er again. --Baruch Arnegriff It is said that in his last illness the poet Arnegriff was attended at different times by seven doctors.
I cannot write music. I cannot play the piano. Jayne Meadows I just loved and love life. I love it today. Jayne Meadows I never look at a note. I just roam the stage. The people do not want to leave. Jayne Meadows I never say a funny thing intentionally. Jayne Meadows I respect his talents, even as he does mine. Jayne Meadows I was born and raised in China, and my parents were missionaries. Jayne Meadows I would write plays for my grandmother, who was stone deaf, my mother and the dog, that was our audience. Jayne Meadows Marriage, even the best marriages are tough. Jayne Meadows My father was a good preacher and had a little bit of drama. Jayne Meadows My mother was the dearest, sweetest angel. She didn't talk; she sang. She was a tower of strength. Jayne Meadows Steve is very quiet, even shy. I am very gregarious. So, opposites. Jayne Meadows The best people I know have had a lot of obstacles to overcome. Jayne Meadows There is only one secret. To love what you are doing.
HEART, n. An automatic, muscular blood-pump. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the esat of emotions and sentiments --a very pretty fancy which, however, is nothing but a survival of a once universal belief. It is now known that the sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid. The exact process by which a beefsteak becomes a feeling --tender or not, according to the age of the animal from which it was cut; the successive stages of elaboration through which a caviar sandwich is transmuted to a quaint fancy and reappears as a pungent epigram; the marvelous functional methods of converting a hard-boiled egg into religious contrition, or a cream-puff into a sigh of sensibility --these things have been patiently ascertained by M. Pasteur, and by him expounded with convincing lucidity. (See, also, my monograph, _The Essential Identity of the Spiritual Affections and Certain Intestinal Gases Freed in Digestion_ --4t
Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity..
Sister In Law
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