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Jim Gaffigan Mcdonalds Somebodys Lying Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jim Gaffigan Mcdonalds Somebodys Lying" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When there was knockin on the door, I was like, this is either the police for me, this is either some lawyer, somebodys Dad, somebodys brother
The Situation
5 Likes
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"I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"
Jim Gaffigan
1 Likes
Comedy quotes
"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"
Jim Gaffigan
13 Likes
Comedy quotes
Humor quotes
"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"
Jim Gaffigan
8 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
"I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"
Jim Gaffigan
2 Likes
Humor quotes
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Sponsored Links
People who come from a background of lying are suspicious of lying in others.
Unknown
62 Likes
Lying quotes
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id be lying if I told you I was happy. I would also be lying if I told you I need you to live
Kenzie-ann
83 Likes
Stay Strong quotes
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Lying quotes
Ignoring somebodys text and then posting a Facebook status on purpose....Thug life.
Unknown
141 Likes
I was half asleep lying there writing this lyric in my head at about 3:30 in the morning. I woke Steve up with this idea and then we went into the living room where there was a little upright piano and finished the song. I wonder where that piano is now?
Jim Capaldi
5 Likes
When you are outraged by somebodys impudence, ask yourself at once, Can the world exist without impudent people? It cannot; so do not ask for impossibilities.
Marcus Aurelius Antonius
5 Likes
Acceptance quotes
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My last fight was a few years ago in a club and I did knuckle-up somebodys face pretty good. They were deserving of it.
Mark Wahlberg
3 Likes
Acting is like lying. The art of lying well. I'm paid to tell elaborate lies.
Mel Gibson
3 Likes
"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a
Jim Gaffigan
40 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a
Jim Gaffigan
62 Likes
Comedy quotes
Humor quotes
I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth.
Homer Simpson
23 Likes
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If someone's lying about something small, you don't know what else they're lying about. I'm a big girl, I can handle the truth, even if it's not good news.
Jennifer Morrison
6 Likes
Is your face from McDonalds, because I'm lovin it.
Unknown
84 Likes
Pick Up Lines quotes
People say that Im miserable all the time. Its not that Im miserable, its just that somebodys yelling at meI literally, sometimes, have to keep myself from cryingIts a physical reaction to the energy thats thrown at you.
Kristen Stewart
12 Likes
Need another reason to love NYC? McDonalds delivers.
Nicky Hilton
3 Likes
Lying is a necessary evil, the truth may set you free but it could also be your prison.
Unknown
8 Likes
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