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I dont do up. Sit-ups. Push-ups. Pull-ups. I do downs. Sit down. Lay down. Blackjack, Ill double down. Give me a cheeseburger, Ill wolf it down. Put on a little music, Ill boogie down.
John Pinette
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I tried the low-carb bread. Have you tried it? It's horrible. I tasted it. I thought the wrapper was still on. It's not like it went bad, it never went good. They have 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter,' they should call it, 'This Ain't Bread.' 'Cause it looks like bread, but it has no other properties of bread. I said, 'You know what? I'll butter it. That'll make it better.' Butter won't go on it. It slides right off. The butter's like, 'Where are you putting me?' Jam and jelly beads up and fall off it. Did they Scotch-guard this at the factory? You know what I'll do? It's okay, I'll toast it. I'll make a sandwich, I'll toast it. It's better when you toast it. It doesn't toast. You can't toast it. I'm out in the garage with a blow torch. It's absorbing the heat like a space shuttle tile.

John Pinette

16 Likes
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What do they give you for a side dish in England for breakfast? Home Fries? Hash Browns? Fresh fruit? Nay, nay. They give you beans. Oh, good. Let's start me off in the morning: empty stomach, cup of black coffee, and some beans. Now let's walk me around London for a little while, getting me all churned up. Put me in a taxi and see what happens. I blew the doors off the taxi.

John Pinette

16 Likes
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