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For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.
'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Cute Dog quotes
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Brother And Sister
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