I fantasize of ripping apart the flesh of my chest up to my organs so that I can get a good grip of my heart to tear it out of its vessels. The feeling of crushing it with my own hands so that I can end that loud and dreadful beating that sends off blood with too much sad hormones too fast making me feel uneasy all the time. But that ain't enough. I want to open up my head by pulling all my hair in two sides till my skull is exposed so I can crack it open with a hammer to take out my brain and squash it with my own hands, that way I won't have to think of any more bad thoughts. I'd just rather be dead. But I can only fantasize, I'm too coward to do any sh...