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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much time.
Bankers And Banks quotes
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I invented the cordless extension cord.
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!
Being A Mom
Getting Over You
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