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If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fu.. itself.
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My mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-bi...."
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You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
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