The first year was very difficult. I found it so hard because people kept saying in interviews, 'You must be so thrilled, This must be so exciting, a dream come true.' I always felt that I wasn't grateful enough. I was really confused and shell-shocked. I wasn't used to the kind of pressures that were on me. I was continually trying to work out whether this was where I should be, how I should behave or if I should be in this industry...all that kind of stuff. By the end of season one, I was in a bad place where I felt like I had lost myself. I had a little bit of a breakdown. I called my parents sobbing my eyes out, saying, 'I don't know who I am anymore.'