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The show is a behind-the-scenes look at what happens at our office when the cameras are off...A perfect platform for people who have no business being on camera.
Chelsea Handler
10 Likes
10 Comments
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I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.
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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.
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I'll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.
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You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
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My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
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Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. Its the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
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I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a person, and just because vodka accounts for 50 percent of my body weight, that doesn't mean I walk around with a vodka drip, forcing every plant, person, or animal to imbibe. I've always had a disliking for animal trainers, and this guy cemented my theory that people who chaperone animals for a living have never had a girl sit on their face.
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Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.
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Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Chelsea Handler
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We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a bunch of space filler, nothing to really wow you. It looked like he had bought a lot of stuff from IKEA and then decided to refinish it at home. Everything was neat and tidy, but you wouldn't want any of it for yourself.
Chelsea Handler
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