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The remote has saved my sanity.
Fred Willard
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RELATED QUOTES
Comedy relieves you. A lot of times we think we're the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, 'Don't you hate it when...'And it's 'Oh, my God! Of course!'
Fred Willard
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My daughter thinks I'm a little more on the straight and narrow than I actually am.
Fred Willard
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When I was a kid, hearing something from the president was like hearing something from God. Now I hear the president and think, What is he, crazy?
Fred Willard
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If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny.
Fred Willard
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I wish sex could last as long as love.
Fred Willard
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Opera has made me consider suicide.
Fred Willard
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When I was a kid, I remember one aunt drinking on Thanksgiving and falling asleep at the dinner table. Her husband said, Betty, wake up and finish your drink.
Fred Willard
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Ballet I love for about five minutes. Then I want to see a comic come out.
Fred Willard
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You think you want to be famous. Then you see twenty or thirty people with cameras running after somebody coming out of a restaurant. And you say, That might be fun for a night. The idea is to be just famous enough that when you walk into a restaurant, the maitred' says, Oh, I have a nice table.
Fred Willard
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I remember Johnny Carson laughing effusively when I made my 'Tonight' show debut in the early 1970's as part of a sketch comedy group called the Ace Trucking Company. We didn't even have a name when we first did the show, but one of my favorite moments was looking over to see him laughing, falling off his chair. This was topped only by another kind of tribute often paid by Johnny: imitation. We did a sketch about tough motorcyclists stopping into a shop and demanding shoes and coming away with handbags and ruffled blouses and stuff, and after it was over, Johnny kept saying, 'I want some shoes,' like one of the characters, and that was just a kind of salute. To have him pick up a catchphrase and repeat it was just amazing.
Fred Willard
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I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them.
Fred Willard
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Suddenly you're like a pirate, you're 65 years old and you've got an earring.
Fred Willard
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