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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
Unknown
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The government could fix everything that's wrong with the country if they'd simply read my Facebook updates.
Unknown
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Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Unknown
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I bet the NSA stopped monitoring your phone records after seeing they were all drunk dials to exes at 4 a.m.
Unknown
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
Unknown
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The government may force me to have health insurance but they can never force me to respect my body.
Unknown
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You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job.
Unknown
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I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking pictures of my di...
Unknown
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
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If I post a status and you automatically assume it's about you...Don't blame your guilty conscience on me.
Unknown
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That awkward moment when someone asks 'do you remember me' and you have no clue who they are.
Unknown
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Welcome to Facebook, where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own lies & the world shows off they are living a great life.
Unknown
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When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
Nikhil Saluja
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
Unknown
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
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I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Wheres my freaking phone?! and it answers, I'm here! Under your jacket!
Azgraybebly Joslan
200 Likes
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I hate when people dont watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting.
Azgraybebly Joslan
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