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Tommy Cooper Funny Quotes
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13 entries tagged Funny quotes by Tommy Cooper.
Last updated May 2024
Tommy Cooper Topics
Funny
Jokes
Books
Money
Dogs
Driving
Music
Painting
Life
Sleep
QUOTES
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
52 Likes
Funny quotes
Sleep quotes
Sponsored Links
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
8 Likes
Life quotes
Funny quotes
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
70 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Tommy Cooper
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Dogs quotes
Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaagghhh!!' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
21 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Sponsored Links
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.
Tommy Cooper
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Tommy Cooper
44 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
Tommy Cooper
17 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Sponsored Links
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
41 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Tommy Cooper
72 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
So a man jumps into a taxi and says King Arthur's close and the taxi driver says, don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights.
Tommy Cooper
131 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
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