A 30-year Mortgage At Michaels Age Essentially Means That Hes Buying A Coffin. If I Were Buying My Coffin, I Would Get One With Thicker Walls So You Couldnt Hear The Other Dead People. - SearchQuotes

About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap

Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us

Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest

Close

Submit Quote

Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes

Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics

Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors

Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures

A 30-year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldnt hear the other dead people.

Dwight Schrute

4 Likes

4 Comments

RELATED QUOTES

Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.

2 Likes

Sponsored Links

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

2 Likes

I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching.

6 Likes

The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

3 Likes

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongooseand a panther.

2 Likes

Sponsored Links

How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable

7 Likes

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what Im being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, Im going wherever they value loyalty the most.

3 Likes

I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.

2 Likes

There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There are 3 things you never turn your back on- bears, men you have wronged, and a dominant male turkey during mating season

5 Likes

Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you dont hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins arent smart. They just like pushing things.

11 Likes

Sponsored Links

You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.

2 Likes

Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

5 Likes

TRENDING

ABOUT

Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us

OUR GOAL

Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.

© 2024 SearchQuotes™