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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Ambrose Bierce
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
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Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
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Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
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Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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