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I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg
4 Likes
4 Comments
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I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit. As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
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I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
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I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
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I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
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I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
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