I Hit Two Trees And Fell Down A Ditch. And That Was Just Walking From The Lodge. - SearchQuotes

About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap

Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us

Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest

Close

Submit Quote

Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes

Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics

Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors

Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

Bill Engvall

11 Likes

11 Comments

RELATED QUOTES

This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says 'you like baseball?' I said, 'Oh, man, I love baseball.' So he goes 'Did you know that if Jesus had played ball, he'd have been the greatest ball player ever?' Like I'm gonna argue with that logic. So I sat there for a second, and then I said 'did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at Communion?' He left.

8 Likes

Sponsored Links

Hat's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men.

1 Likes

I go 'I just want a cup of black coffee.' She goes 'Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy and they're considered a delicacy.' Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I'm from, that's considered a mistake.

10 Likes

So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf, you know the drive I'm talking about. The minute you hit it, you just drop your club. You hang on to the beer, let's don't get stupid. And I watch this ball just go and go and...kind of hit this guy in the head. And I felt bad, but he overreacted, I thought. I mean, it wasn't like a square hit; it just kind of glanced off his head. But he goes whippin' his car off the freeway, like 'here we go!' Mr. Attitude! So now, he's barreling down the fairway screaming at the top of his lungs, like 'what are you, some kind of cruddy golfer?' I'm like, 'hey, I hit you, didn't I? You were traveling sixty-five miles an hour. That's a pretty good shot in my book.'

10 Likes

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going 'there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot.'

0 Likes

Sponsored Links

I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. 'Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up...' WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? 'All right dude, you're up.'

8 Likes

TRENDING

ABOUT

Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us

OUR GOAL

Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.

© 2024 SearchQuotes™