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I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.
I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.
I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.
I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
I just feed off the energy of the audience.
I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them. It's not that bad.
Brother And Sister
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