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Pope Benedict delivered an anti-euthanasia message this week, saying that people must accept death at 'the hour chosen by God.' And then he rode away in a heavily armored, bulletproof car.
Seth Meyers
2 Likes
2 Comments
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A New Jersey man is suing two men for allegedly using Facebook to organize an attack on him at a bar. By the time police arrived, the man had been Super Poked beyond recognition.
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Police in Portland, Oregon told a woman who was skating nude to stop after construction workers complained. Which raises the question: what in God's name has happened to construction workers?
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Sunday's 60th Primetime Emmy Awards were hosted by the five reality show nominees in an apparent attempt to make us hate television.
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Animal rights group PETA is urging Ben and Jerry's to replace the milk they use in their ice cream with human breast milk. After which, Ben and Jerry's introduced their new flavor, Chocolate Chip Minkcuz they're not gonna use breast milk.
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The first presidential debate took place last night, and earlier in the week Barack Obama said he would be at the debate whether John McCain showed up or not. Marking the first time in history that a black man was more eager to go to Mississippi than a white one.
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Treasury secretary Henry Paulson said that the proposed bailout plan will cost taxpayers $700 billion dollars. To give you an idea of how much money that is, I can't give you an idea of how much money that is.
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A company in Japan has developed a set of kneepads that allow men to squat down in front of the toilet, reducing the possibility of splash back when they urinate. Also, that's not what they're for.
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It was revealed this week that Harrison Ford is engaged to his longtime girlfriend Calista Flockhart. Unfortunately, the news came to light in the final paragraph of Chewbacca's suicide note.
Seth Meyers
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Tony Danza has begun work on a new A&E series in which he will spend a year teaching 10th grade English at a New York City school. The network is already preparing a spin-off series, in which a group of students repeat 10th grade English.
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Karta, an orangutan at a zoo in Australia, escaped from her enclosure on Sunday, after she short-circuited an electric fence and broke free. She then climbed over the fence, where another orangutan was waiting with the car running.
Seth Meyers
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JP Morgan Bank is foreclosing on the Long Island mansion owned by Victoria Gotti, the 46-year-old daughter of Mafia boss John Gotti. In related news...the JP Morgan bank has just been found floating in the East River.
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A Philadelphia museum has rejected a request to test its sample of Abraham Lincoln's blood to see if the 16th president had a rare genetic disorder. Which is weird, because I thought we were pretty clear on cause of death.
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