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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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When going to work has become a nice break from Facebook, it's safe to say you're a Facebook junkie.
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I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying You're next. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, You're next.
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Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people Happy Birthday, ever.
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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the f*ck are you?
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I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?
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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.
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