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W C Fields Quotes & Sayings
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88 entries tagged including 23 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
W C Fields Topics
Success
Morality
Try Again
Smile
Prejudice
Opinions
Illness
Attitude
Animals
Influential
Food
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Death
Life
Drink
Money
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QUOTES
Some things are better than s.., and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W C Fields
5 Likes
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
W C Fields
0 Likes
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W C Fields
9 Likes
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W C Fields
3 Likes
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W C Fields
5 Likes
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W C Fields
0 Likes
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philidelphia.
W C Fields
0 Likes
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W C Fields
0 Likes
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W C Fields
8 Likes
Never give a sucker an even break.
W C Fields
2 Likes
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W C Fields
5 Likes
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W C Fields
9 Likes
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W C Fields
2 Likes
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W C Fields
2 Likes
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W C Fields
4 Likes
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W C Fields
3 Likes
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W C Fields
0 Likes
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W C Fields
2 Likes
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W C Fields
1 Likes
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W C Fields
4 Likes
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