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Christmas Quotes & Sayings
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QUOTES
Christmas is a time of year to sleep in, pig out, and get fat. Not to "bang everybody"
Unknown
4 Likes
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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Larry Wilde
51 Likes
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Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
Tom Armstrong
3 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ
Bart Simpson
62 Likes
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Unknown
17 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
Robert Paul
16 Likes
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Unknown
13 Likes
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Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Dennis Miller
32 Likes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Joan Rivers
18 Likes
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There has been only one Christmas the rest are anniversaries.
W J Cameron
17 Likes
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Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
PJ O'Rourke
13 Likes
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Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Tom Sims
9 Likes
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Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Unknown
41 Likes
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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
Unknown
12 Likes
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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
PJ O'Rourke
15 Likes
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Unknown
71 Likes
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Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Unknown
26 Likes
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