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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
Billy Connolly
5 Likes
5 Comments
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I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
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To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart-about a finger's breadth-for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.
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I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour.
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My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
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