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If three people having sex is a threesome, and two people having sex is a twosome, then I know why people call me handsome.
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Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox...
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Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it & scares everyone.
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
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Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
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You can't be late until you show up.
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