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Groucho Marx Quotes & Sayings

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132 entries tagged including 61 subtopics.
Last updated Mar 2023

Groucho Marx Topics

QUOTES

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

34 Likes

Television quotes

Education quotes

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I think women are s..y when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.

61 Likes

Attraction quotes

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

13 Likes

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasnt arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and Im going to be happy in it.

78 Likes

Cheerful quotes

Good Morning quotes

Happiness quotes

Positive quotes

Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

25 Likes

80th Birthday quotes

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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

63 Likes

Best Friend quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

28 Likes

Friendship quotes

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

35 Likes

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

30 Likes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

14 Likes

Best Friends quotes

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Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but youll have to stay in the garage all night.

40 Likes

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

15 Likes

Relationship quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

23 Likes

Sarcastic Life quotes

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

21 Likes

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

4 Likes

Television quotes

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I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

6 Likes

Education quotes

Television quotes

America And Americans quotes

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

3 Likes

Television quotes

Do you mind if I don't smoke ?

22 Likes

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

2 Likes

Politics quotes

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

3 Likes

Principles quotes

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