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Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings
93 entries tagged including 50 subtopics.
Last updated May 2022
Jay Leno Topics
Famous New Year
New Year Resolutions
New Years Eve
Men And Women
America And Americans
The Kinsey Institute says gay men have bigger s.. organs. Hence the origin of gay pride.
Funny Gay quotes
Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know, such as: does that best man invite both guys to the bachelor party?
Funny Gay quotes
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes just a little too much.
If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think it's your reprieve, and you hear 'Hasta la vista, baby.'
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average, hey, let's get a pizza!
If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy.
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'Id like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.
In California, 50 women protested the I'm pending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.
Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me.
I have the same friends I had in high school. I'm married to the same woman I had. I'm still driving the same car I had when I dated her, although I got a few more. I come in here and I enjoy it. I enjoy being a voyeur to show business. I enjoy looking at it and being around it. But it doesn't become my life. I don't let it absorb me.
When we started this show, my hair was black and the president was white. When we started the show, Jon and Kate were both eight.
If you came here tonight for s.. with a talk show host, you've got the wrong studio.
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