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Joan Rivers Quotes & Sayings
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72 entries tagged including 35 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Joan Rivers Topics
Funny
Ageing
Love
Humorous Christmas
Funny Christmas Card
Christmas
Religious
Twins
The Present
God
Gifts
Smile
Exercise
Birth Control
Being A Woman
Valentines Day
Housework
Art
Women
Nature
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Oil
Sex
Putdowns
Happiness
History
Men And Women
Dieting
Television
Anger
Thinking
Optimism
Advice
Food
Hilarious
QUOTES
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
9 Likes
Television quotes
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
16 Likes
Men And Women quotes
I blame my mother for my poor s.. life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
79 Likes
Women quotes
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
Joan Rivers
6 Likes
History quotes
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Joan Rivers
17 Likes
History quotes
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Joan Rivers
9 Likes
Happiness quotes
She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.
Joan Rivers
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
I blame my mother for my poor s.. life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
605 Likes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers
16 Likes
Funny quotes
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
36 Likes
Art quotes
Oil quotes
Nature quotes
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers
33 Likes
Funny quotes
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