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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
20 Likes
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln
45 Likes
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I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together.
Charles Dickens
18 Likes
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
4 Likes
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The right honourable gentleman is reminiscent of a poker. The only difference is that a poker gives off the occasional signs of warmth.
Benjamin Disraeli
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I'm as pure as the driven slush.
Tallulah Bankhead
0 Likes
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I'm a one-man idiot.
Eddie Izzard
16 Likes
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Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural Stalingrad.
JGBallard
16 Likes
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Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.
Billy Wilder
1 Likes
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He's the kind of guy that when he dies, he's going up to heaven and give God a bad time for making him bald.
Marlon Brando
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Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.
Dean Martin
10 Likes
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Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Jay Leno
22 Likes
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She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.
Julie Andrews
15 Likes
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The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
Bob Monkhouse
24 Likes
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The best ears of our lives.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
11 Likes
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If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
John Cleese
6 Likes
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While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough. He also pointed out that Bill Gates is kind of rich, that water is kind of wet, and that Elvis is kind of dead.
Andy Waits
11 Likes
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Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids.
Andy Waits
3 Likes
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Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
6 Likes
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