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P J ORourke Quotes & Sayings

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26 entries tagged including 16 subtopics.
Last updated Dec 2023

P J ORourke Topics

Funny
Politics
Age
Women
Parents
Government
Parliament
Democrats
Television
Drink
Famous
Stupidity
College
Death
New Years Love

QUOTES

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

8 Likes

New Years Love quotes

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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

6 Likes

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

8 Likes

Stupidity quotes

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

16 Likes

Stupidity quotes

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

6 Likes

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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

1 Likes

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.

1 Likes

Television quotes

The government is huge, stupid, greedy and makes nosy, officious and dangerous intrusions into the smallest corners of life this much we can stand. But the real problem is that government is boring. We could cure or mitigate the other ills Washington visits on us if we could only bring ourselves to pay attention to Washington itself. But we cannot.

16 Likes

Government quotes

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

18 Likes

Government quotes

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

10 Likes

Government quotes

Democrats quotes

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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

4 Likes

Government quotes

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

3 Likes

Government quotes

Every government is a parliament of whor..s. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whor..s are us.

7 Likes

Government quotes

Parliament quotes

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

0 Likes

Government quotes

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why most news about government sounds as if it were federally mandated -- serious, bulky and blandly worthwhile, like a high-fiber diet set in type.

5 Likes

Government quotes

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Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

4 Likes

Government quotes

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along.

47 Likes

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

1 Likes

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are politics if you can't obtain mastery over people and give them noogies back?

7 Likes

Politics quotes

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

2 Likes

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