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Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty.
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For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.
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My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal.
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Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior.
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Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive.
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Sorry you're finally mature enough to just want a quiet evening with friends on New Year's Eve.
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My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more.
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Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that will be showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013.
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I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.
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Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution.
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My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
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