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Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings
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93 entries tagged including 50 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Jay Leno Topics
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QUOTES
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno
34 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Cheating quotes
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Drink quotes
The New England Jornal of Medicine reports that nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Jay Leno
7 Likes
Love quotes
I went into McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." And the girl behind the counter says, "Would you like fries with that?"
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Food quotes
Sponsored Links
The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell so bad. You know who I feel sorry for? The woman who applied for this job and got turned down.
Jay Leno
24 Likes
Women quotes
President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?.
Jay Leno
5 Likes
Movies quotes
You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
Jay Leno
11 Likes
Famous quotes
Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.
Jay Leno
4 Likes
Jobs quotes
New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive
Jay Leno
7 Likes
New Year quotes
Sponsored Links
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
Jay Leno
13 Likes
Politics quotes
Journalism quotes
Jobs quotes
Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Funny quotes
People quotes
Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
Jay Leno
7 Likes
Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Money quotes
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
Jay Leno
6 Likes
Sponsored Links
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.
Jay Leno
3 Likes
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
Jay Leno
11 Likes
Politics quotes
Journalism quotes
Jobs quotes
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno
18 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Cheating quotes
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?
Jay Leno
4 Likes
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
4 Likes
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