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Rita Rudner Quotes & Sayings
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57 entries tagged including 28 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Rita Rudner Topics
Funny
Dating
Humor
Running
Halloween
Wedding
Break Up
Boyfriend
Anniversary For Boyfriend
Sorrow
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Men And Women
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QUOTES
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
3 Likes
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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner
1 Likes
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
3 Likes
My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.
Rita Rudner
0 Likes
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner
1 Likes
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
0 Likes
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
3 Likes
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita Rudner
2 Likes
It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
7 Likes
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Rita Rudner
7 Likes
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I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner
4 Likes
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Rita Rudner
0 Likes
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
1 Likes
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
8 Likes
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
123 Likes
Happy Married Life quotes
Wedding Anniversary quotes
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I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
2 Likes
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Rita Rudner
1 Likes
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
1 Likes
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
13 Likes
Marriage quotes
Relationships quotes
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
11 Likes
Marriage quotes
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