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Jim Gaffigan Mcdo Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jim Gaffigan Mcdo" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
"I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"
Jim Gaffigan
1 Likes
Comedy quotes
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"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"
Jim Gaffigan
8 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?"
Jim Gaffigan
13 Likes
Comedy quotes
Humor quotes
"I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?"
Jim Gaffigan
2 Likes
Humor quotes
Comedy quotes
"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a
Jim Gaffigan
62 Likes
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"You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fu.. away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then a
Jim Gaffigan
40 Likes
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Comedy quotes
I think Jim got screwed. I think Jim Bakker would have been a great preacher. Jim Bakker was very good at what he did.
Jessica Hahn
0 Likes
My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'.
Jim Carrey
31 Likes
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
Jim Carrey
11 Likes
I would rather be known as 'Jim Kolbe, the trade expert in Congress who happens to be gay,' rather than 'Jim Kolbe, gay congressman from Arizona.'
Jim Kolbe
10 Likes
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We're all very sensitive that Jim has the shortest history with the band. He wants to be somewhat of a free agent. I'm just going to let time dictate how Jim's future evolves.
Thurston Moore
3 Likes
We wanted to do a sequel with Jim and Jeff. They said that the word was that Jim didn't want to do any sequels. We approached him and he said he would do it, but not until next year. New Line said it was too long to wait.
Bobby Farrelly
2 Likes
I don't know, examination I guess. And then they put the jump suit back on me again. I went through the compound - I remember somebody shouting, Jim don't let them break you.
Jim Bakker
15 Likes
I'd say people that really inspired me at first were like, Dustin Hoffman, Jim Carrey...serious Jim Carrey though.
Logan Lerman
2 Likes
What bothers me is that Jim Bakker lies. Jim Bakker knows for a fact that I was virgin.
Jessica Hahn
1 Likes
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We cover hamburgers, chicken, veggie burgers, salads, we've got a pretty broad range. To me, McDonald's isn't only about the food. It's about the prices, it's about the way we eat. Jim Cantalupo
Jim Cantalupo
11 Likes
The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
When I come to work each day, whether as a commentator for TheStreet.com or a host of Mad Money With Jim Cramer, I have only one thought in mind: helping people with their money.
Jim Cramer
144 Likes
The other day for some reason we were watching the audition footage from The Cable Guy. We met during those auditions. It's on tape. He's not on tape, it's just me doing my audition. He's reading the Jim Carrey part and you can hear his voice. He's talking in a very Jim Carrey sort of way.
Leslie Mann
2 Likes
The folks celebrating Jim Bunning are seeing him as an anti-government, anti-spending activist. But to embrace Jim Bunning is to embrace a strange record, if you really are a libertarian, if you really are a deficit hawk, if you really care about spending and responsibility.
Rachel Maddow
7 Likes
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