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P J Orourke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "P J Orourke" sorted by relevance. 26 matching entries found.
Related Topics
Funny
Politics
Television
Parents
Women
Government
Death
Drink
New Years Love
Famous
Stupidity
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QUOTES
Never fight an inanimate object.
P J ORourke
26 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P J ORourke
46 Likes
Funny quotes
Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.
P J ORourke
51 Likes
Funny quotes
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
P J ORourke
45 Likes
Funny quotes
Politics quotes
I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.
P J ORourke
1 Likes
Television quotes
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
P J ORourke
1 Likes
Parents quotes
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P J ORourke
2 Likes
Women quotes
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P J ORourke
4 Likes
Government quotes
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase s..ual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P J ORourke
18 Likes
Women quotes
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
P J ORourke
6 Likes
Death quotes
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What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are politics if you can't obtain mastery over people and give them noogies back?
P J ORourke
7 Likes
Politics quotes
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
P J ORourke
1 Likes
Drink quotes
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P J ORourke
8 Likes
New Years Love quotes
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
P J ORourke
3 Likes
Government quotes
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P J ORourke
18 Likes
Government quotes
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A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
P J ORourke
6 Likes
Famous quotes
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.
P J ORourke
4 Likes
Government quotes
No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P J ORourke
16 Likes
Stupidity quotes
Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.
P J ORourke
7 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along.
P J ORourke
47 Likes
Parents quotes
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