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Funny Quotes About Valentines Day
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17 Funny quotes tagged with Valentines Day.
QUOTES
We've still got a few days until Valentine's Day, so if you're secretly in love with me... Now is the time to speak up.
Unknown
193 Likes
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If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
Azgraybebly Joslan
1014 Likes
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February 13 should be international condom day.
Mario Tomasello
264 Likes
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14 days until Valentines Day, aka 14 days until a night at home alone complaining about stupid couples, because I'm forever alone.
Unknown
291 Likes
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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fu..ing blue.
Unknown
441 Likes
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Thanksgiving, you get food. Christmas, you get gifts. New Year's, you have drinks. Valentine's, you have sex. Birthday, you can do all of the above.
Unknown
63 Likes
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I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith
105 Likes
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Valentines Day quotes
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
106 Likes
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Valentines Day quotes
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
19 Likes
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Valentines Day quotes
It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'
Laura Kightlinger
54 Likes
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I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Unknown
129 Likes
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I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.
Mo Rocca
40 Likes
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Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's like, 'I don't know how to break this to you but I think she's banging your dad!
Russ Meneve
64 Likes
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Valentines Day quotes
Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
Greg Giraldo
96 Likes
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Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black
70 Likes
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Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
31 Likes
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Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
Unknown
43 Likes
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