Often we judge our own pain and believe we are not entitled to it, because the event occurred a long time ago, or it wasn't that bad compared to what's happened to other people. That is a wrong thing to do. Pain doesn't work like that. You can't talk yourself out of it. Pain resides on a deeper level, and it must be treated with compassion in order to heal. For starters, you can clear the emotional space by feeling gratitude for what happened and looking at the positives.