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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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