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Andy Rooney Quotes & Sayings
48 entries tagged including 29 subtopics.
Last updated Oct 2020
Andy Rooney Topics
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books; how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate for his campaign the name "God." He's suggesting that God has endorsed the ticket and given permission to have His name used in promotional material in exchange for certain considerations, like school prayer. There are lots of cheap tricks used in political campaigns, and evoking God's name is one of them.
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'
Native Americans quotes
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Cute Dog quotes
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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Two Faced People
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