There is a slight difference between a hand up & the handout. Unfortunately, many people misconstrue the two & will fail to give the hand up; these are the ones too concerned with contribution counted as a handout. You may very well need to adjust your thinking on what the hand up is really about. Believe me you, most people are ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help up. So give it good thought to whom you turn down a hand up to. The ironic thing is, many people lose gratitude for all they have & worry about what they'll lose if they give it away; when the give, always leads to gain. A true friend will give the shirt off their back, but strangers are friends too, if you will just treat them as such!