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Groucho Marx Quotes & Sayings
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132 entries tagged including 61 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Groucho Marx Topics
Truth
Justice
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Posterity
Animals
Best Friend
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Home
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QUOTES
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
34 Likes
Books quotes
Television quotes
Education quotes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Sponsored Links
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
29 Likes
Funny quotes
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx
35 Likes
Funny quotes
Morning quotes
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
23 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
26 Likes
Funny quotes
Sponsored Links
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Groucho Marx
42 Likes
Military quotes
Intelligence quotes
Blood's not thicker than money.
Groucho Marx
20 Likes
Money quotes
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Relationship quotes
I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
18 Likes
Sponsored Links
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
21 Likes
Happiness quotes
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
12 Likes
Living quotes
Home is where you hang your head
Groucho Marx
15 Likes
Home quotes
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx
11 Likes
Marriage quotes
Judgement quotes
Funny Marriage quotes
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
Groucho Marx
21 Likes
Wives quotes
Sponsored Links
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Groucho Marx
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
16 Likes
Funny quotes
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx
21 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Groucho Marx
13 Likes
Life quotes
I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine - we were both crazy about girls.
Groucho Marx
12 Likes
Love quotes
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