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House MD Quotes & Sayings
32 entries tagged including 8 subtopics.
Last updated Nov 2020
House MD Topics
Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who cant make up their minds. - Greg House
Time changes everything that's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.
House: Husband described her as being unusually irritable recently. Dr. Cameron: And . . . ? House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be 'unusually' irritable.
Girl: In Iceland, the age of consent is 15. House: I'm surprised tourism isn't a bigger industry there.
House: If I forget about her, can I have my carpet back? Cuddy: NO! House: If I forget about the carpet, can I have her?
Wilson: If you need to talk, if you need more help, I'm right here. House: Great. Can you be 'right here' somewhere else?
Cuddy: What are you doing here? A patient? House: No, a hooker. Came to my office instead of my home.
House: I assume 'minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying no chance in hell. Chase: I'm Australian. House: You put the Queen on your money; you're British.
Foreman: You might wanna wait until he actually tell us his theory before you start kissing his theory's ass. Chase: I wasn't kissing his ass. Foreman: It just looked that way from our angle. You on your knees, House bending over.
Clinic Patient: I wasn't trying to off myself. House: No, you were trying to kill the wall.
Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness.
Cuddy: Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic? House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog *yips*
Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness. House vs. God
Wilson: House, you're right! Why not? Why not date you?? Its brilliant; weve known each other for years, we've put up with all kinds of crap from each other, and we keep coming back. Were a couple! House: Are you still speaking metaphorically?
Thirteen: You are the champion of not dealing with your problems. House: My grandson gave me a mug that says that.
Lydia: And who's going to carry you when you're carrying the cello? House: Yes, cast aside the useless cripple. How very German of you.
Stacy: God, you're an idiot! House: I like to think of myself as more of a jerk.
Cuddy to House: l'll be on your couch with a shotgun, in case you try to make a limp for the border.
House: What the hell are those? Cameron: Candy canes. House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me.
Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries? House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.
A Real Man
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