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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes & Sayings
81 entries tagged including 37 subtopics.
Last updated Aug 2021
Rodney Dangerfield Topics
Actors And Acting
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
Actors And Acting quotes
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Being Hurt By Someone You Love
Pick Up Lines
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