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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes & Sayings
81 entries tagged including 37 subtopics.
Last updated Sep 2021
Rodney Dangerfield Topics
Actors And Acting
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But I never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.
One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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