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Audit Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Audit Joke" sorted by relevance. 405 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Could a government dare to set out with happiness as its goal? Now that there are accepted scientific proofs, it would be easy to audit the progress of national happiness annually, just as we monitor money and GDP.
Polly Toynbee
0 Likes
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I started a joke, which started the whole world crying. But I didn't see that the joke was on me.
The Bee Gees
4 Likes
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
3 Likes
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.'
Aziz Ansari
2 Likes
The reason it takes us from November the second to December the sixth to certify is because we have a very tedious, very comprehensive process where we audit by precinct, across the state, every vote that was cast to make sure that every vote that was legally cast is counted.
Kenneth Blackwell
1 Likes
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My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.
Richard Marx
0 Likes
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Unknown
26 Likes
Funny quotes
Irish quotes
Laughter brings you to reality as it is. The world is a play of God, a cosmic joke. And unless you understand it as a cosmic joke you will never be able to understand the ultimate mystery.
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
2 Likes
Laughter quotes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
Jokes quotes
I mean, first and foremost were just trying to make the best product we can and the internet becomes sort of a secondary thing. If a certain joke or scene picks up on the internet and takes off thats great. Although we never want someone to just get one scene or joke out of context. But sometimes well do a little short video or something for the internet hoping that that goes around just to stir up a little buzz for the show. But you know the internet is just a nice bonus to getting the show out.
Charlie Day
11 Likes
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Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy Award. The next day, I got a call from a guy who said, 'Lindsay thought the joke was hilarious! She wants to be on your show!'. I said, 'Great!' I called publicity and said, 'Get the press release out immediately!' It went around the world. People said, 'Are you kidding me?! This will be fantastic! This will be like the Super Bowl'... and then Lindsay Lohan says none of this is happening.
David Letterman
6 Likes
A symphony is no joke.
Johannes Brahms
4 Likes
Desegregation is a joke.
Nina Simone
1 Likes
A joke is a very serious thing.
Winston Churchill
5 Likes
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
1 Likes
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
Aristotle
1 Likes
Domestic violence is not a joke...Ever.
Unknown
35 Likes
Housekeeping ain't no joke.
Louisa May Alcott
1 Likes
If you appreciate the value of life, you dont joke about death.
Unknown
3 Likes
I never told a joke in my life.
Andy Kaufman
1 Likes
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