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Funny Valentines Date Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Valentines Date" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Unknown
129 Likes
Funny quotes
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Honestly, I have a tendency to date dorks. Which means that a lot of times, I date guys that no one else would deem to be a hunk.
Ivanka Trump
3 Likes
Just dropped my last baby at a play date now I'm driving 1 hr to take my dog to school. Not funny something wrong with this picture.
Brooke Burke
17 Likes
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after a first date, chances are...you have small boobs.
Unknown
133 Likes
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I'm sorry I didn't get you a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day, but if you want something sweet I'm right here.
Unknown
415 Likes
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We've still got a few days until Valentine's Day, so if you're secretly in love with me... Now is the time to speak up.
Unknown
193 Likes
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Valentines Day = Single Awareness Day
Unknown
178 Likes
Valentines Day quotes
I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.
Mo Rocca
40 Likes
Funny quotes
Valentines Day quotes
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith
105 Likes
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Date a country boy because he knows how to treat a lady right, open doors pull out chairs, and have date night on a back road with trucks in the mud.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I'd get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I've since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her.
Matthew Perry
14 Likes
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
Jim Bishop
22 Likes
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Dating quotes
Yo, the only girl I ever loved, fu..ed some ni... that I really hate. And the funny part about it, that we didn't even date. But at the end she could still say she got her pu... ate.
Tyler The Creator
218 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if youre going to get screwed.
Azgraybebly Joslan
85 Likes
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A good date ends with dinner together but an awesome date ends with breakfast together.
Unknown
104 Likes
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I have been alone since my husband died. I stay in my home. I don't date. It's hard to date when you're at home. Nobody knows you.
Anna Nicole Smith
5 Likes
I don't make mistakes...I date them.
Unknown
607 Likes
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The worst part about being set up on a blind date is when you realize that your date isn't blind and is way too hot for you.
Unknown
5 Likes
I'm crossing my fingers that you asked me on a coffee date because you're a sober alcoholic as opposed to unemployed.
Unknown
9 Likes
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